Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
