it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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