She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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