Having a random hookup so left but love u
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
