I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
