Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize