Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize