Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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