Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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