I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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