Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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