i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.