everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to calm my uterus...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?