so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I intend to get homeless drunk
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well I just put wine in my tea
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sobbing to NWA