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• (410): View more from Maryland

  apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.

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• (510): View more from California

  I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, that was you

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We will go to karaoke

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Twice?!

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