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went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
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