that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.