im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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