Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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