At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
