Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
