He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
