I wish you could order shots online.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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