I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
