I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
