Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
