I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My bed smells like the plague
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
