Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
