Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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