I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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