i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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