break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
