I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
