They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
