her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
