I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
