too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
