i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This is the high leading the old right now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Panties = found
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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