Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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