if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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