I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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