He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
