Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
