You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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