In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
