chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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