So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
