I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
