dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
