This is not my ceiling
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
