he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
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Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
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Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
MIDGETS
????
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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