it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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