So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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