This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
