Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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