Nicole vs. Life
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
