I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I stole a fireplace last night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
