I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
