JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
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I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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