New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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