My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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