Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize