there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize