I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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