a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize