You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
