So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
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So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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