What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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